By Anthony Payton

Columnist

Granite State News Collaborative

Listen to Anthony Payton tell this story

As we step foot into this new year and I continue crafting my goals for the year, I decided to reach back to a few young men from my past to get an update on where they are in life. I wanted to see if there was any advice that I could offer to them, or possibly have an exchange of ideas that could benefit us all. It turns out that they were doing well, but that wasn’t the case for some of the younger generation.  

 If I were to craft a blueprint to success for my younger self, or for the Black youth in New Hampshire or anywhere for that matter, it would sound something like this…

There isn’t anything that will remove the struggles your lineage has suffered; however, please don’t get caught up in victimhood or submerge yourself in the ills of the past. That can stunt your growth, and it won’t allow you to blossom to the fullest of your potential. You’ll be holding onto the anger and mistrust of our ancestors and I truly don’t believe those are the emotions that they’d want from us in this day and time. Our history should never be forgotten, but it’s up to your generation to use it as fuel for success. We have too much sweat and blood spilled on American soil for us to stay stagnant.  You have to not only exist but thrive.  We need to be setting up generations of success and growth. Talk to your peers and family about the importance of a good credit score as well as home and business ownership.  Pay it forward with the younger ones who will be coming up behind you.  These jewels and keys to success have to be passed down.

Please never settle into the mindset that you’re owed anything. You have to work for it, and you have to work harder than others. This world isn’t fair, and it tends to leave behind the stubborn and resentful.  It burns the ones who refuse to adapt and acclimate. There are countless examples of businesses that didn’t adapt to the ever changing consumer, and who didn’t learn new ways to market their product. Those businesses are now closed.  Your open-mindedness and willingness to learn new things will be some of the traits that separate you from the masses.  One of the things that I always try to get across to my daughter and her brothers is something that I’ve recently begun applying over the last 10 years; we need to get out of our comfort zones to grow.  Embrace that initial discomfort. 

Include yourself, but also be inclusive of others.  Make an effort to bring yourself to the table. It’s up to you to find out where these tables are. Because later on, I don’t want to see you upset about not being invited to the table.  Seek them out, and at the same time, make sure that you bring others with you.  This is how you can strengthen your community and generation.  

Be proud of your culture, but shed the caricature that it’s become. If you don’t believe that Black American culture sets trends and is fancied worldwide, just look to Japan, where some of their youth have trained their hair to grow afros and dreadlocks. Hip Hop culture has spread across the globe, and it's even in some of the most Anti-American countries.  Gun violence, disrespect of women, and embracing lawlessness aren’t a part of your culture; these are some of the things that complacency has let in.  You have a rich culture of creativity, love, strength, pride, and family. Your history has had its hands in plenty of higher education, and it has a deep history of creating generational wealth. This history is documented. Don’t let other narratives fool you. 

Aspire to be the leader and uplifting citizen that you have the potential to be. Ultimately, your biggest opponent will be the reflection in the mirror. Not white America, not some boogeyman, not your past. Surround yourself with like-minded people, as well as people who are in places you aim for.  Open yourself to mentorship, and let your mentors be of different races and genders. Get the full scope of perspectives.  

You’ll have detractors, and these people will come in the form of friends and family as well. Rise above it, and hold true to your beliefs.  You will learn not to share your ideas and goals with small-minded people because they will project their own failures and shortcomings onto you.  Your destiny is in your hands. Your end result doesn’t necessarily have to be an athlete or rapper.  Not that you shouldn’t have dreams, but also commit to learning finance and investment. Become a part of the American dream and process that countless immigrants risk their lives for.  

I’ve learned that shortcuts won’t get you there. It will take hard work and determination. What you may think of as the path of least resistance is usually the hardest, longest, and most painful. Make a list of your goals and the road it will take to attain them. Stick to it, and modify it when need be.  

There’s a saying about birds of a feather flocking together.  Or, if you want to learn about a person, just look at his friends. People judge you by the company that you keep. Negative peer influences are one of the biggest obstacles you may face, and it’s easy for you to become engulfed in whatever your friends are.  I’ve seen friends lead people down dark paths. You have to learn to have the foresight to see potential dangers that lie ahead.  You then have to have the strength to separate. 

The criminal justice system has statistically proven to give you longer sentences because of your skin color.

Gangs will target you for recruitment or target you for harm because of your skin color.

Interactions with authority could be hostile because of your skin color.

Don’t give these people any more ammunition.

Ultimately, don’t be your own worst enemy.  Walk that fine line of carrying yourself with the dignity and pride of royalty, but be humble enough to not look down on others.  

This column is part of The Common Ground Initiative which aims to highlight the diversity of our communities with stories of people the average Granite Stater might not get to see or meet, clarify misconceptions and find the threads that bind us all together as one New Hampshire community. Anthony Payton can be reached at anthony.payton@collaborativenh.org. 

These articles are being shared by partners in The Granite State News Collaborative. For more information visit collaborativenh.org.