By RICK GREEN, Granite State News Cooperative
Christina Darling with her sons, Kayden and Brennan. (Courtesy photo)
As a single mother of two boys, one 9 and one 4, Christina Darling was more than happy to work to keep a roof over their heads, but she found herself caught in a vicious circle.
“You need to work to pay the bills, but in order to work you need child care, but in order to get child care you need money and in order to get money you need to work,” she said. “I’ve kind of discovered it is nearly impossible to get out of that cycle without a hand, without somebody being able to help you.”
“Some people are lucky enough to have family. Unfortunately, I don’t have any family locally here anymore, so I was one of the lucky ones to get in and be able to take advantage of state programs.”
She grew up in Peterborough and married her high school sweetheart, but the relationship ended in divorce. She lived in Maine for a few years before returning to New Hampshire.
Crunch time for Darling came when her youngest son was born. Her older boy was attending public school, but a child care center would be needed for the baby. She got on a waiting list before he was born, but he was 11 months old before he got a slot in day care in Manchester.
“I was grateful for him to have the spot, but it wasn’t cheap either. It was $275 a week. I was only able to afford it because of the New Hampshire Child Care Scholarship.”
She later moved to Nashua to take advantage of a housing program, and once again had to find child care. This time the wait was two months, but she found a good situation at Marguerite's Place, a non-profit that helps women with children and provides a range of services.
It is unreasonable to expect someone earning the state’s median income of $35,000 to be able to afford child care costs without assistance, said Darling, 31, a tenant service coordinator for NeighborWorks Southern New Hampshire.
Darling has also noticed that child care has become harder to find.
“When my first son was born, there were no waiting lists. The child care I was able to find was within my means. I was a student working part-time as an LNA at that point. Now, it’s if you can find child care that is of a quality that is suitable for what your needs are, the chances of you being able to afford it, especially if you are a single parent, are slim.”
She knows people who simply can’t afford to hire on to regular jobs because child care is so expensive. What do they do for money?
“Anything between unemployment and under the table jobs. Most LNAs qualify to do home care so they’ll do hours here and there when they can have friends watch their kids. But it means nursing homes are low in employees.”
People will do what they can to survive.
“For most of the families I know in these situations, it is not playing the system. It’s life-or-death survival. It’s making sure there is a roof overhead and something to eat. I don’t know anybody who has lived in affordable housing who has not had to make the choice at least once between going hungry and feeding their kids.”
When she hears people complain about state support for people with low income, she reminds them of where the support is going.
“When they are in nursing homes needing care, that’s us running the nursing homes, that’s us working in the grocery stores, that’s us scrambling to find services for elderly family members who want to die in place.
“Whenever I’m on Facebook, I’ll see someone saying, ‘That TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families), EBT (Electronic Benefit Transfer) user is buying lobster with their EBT. Honey, instead of being upset about what this other person is doing, why don’t we be upset that we have a need for EBT in the first place?
“People will have a hard time seeing the core problem and will demonize the people having the problems because it makes them feel better.”
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