By Rosemary Ford and Caitlin Agnew
This article has been edited for length and clarity.
National studies show adolescents are experiencing loneliness, isolation and feelings of sadness at greater levels than past generations. While already on the rise before COVID-19 hit, the pandemic has increased the rising speed. On this episode of “The State We’re In,” Rosemary Ford talks with Dr. Nate Jones, school psychology consultant at Southeastern Regional Educational Service Center, John T. Broderick, former chief justice of the N.H. Supreme Court and senior director of external affairs for Dartmouth Health, and Gabrielle McNulty, school-based behavioral health counselor for Amoskeag Community Health, about what could be driving the crisis and what can be done to help.
Rosemary Ford:
What's going on with the youth? Are parents applying too much pressure? Are they too overextended?
Dr. Nate Jones:
We're definitely seeing a lot of schoolkids are very much struggling. Yes, it peaked during COVID, but COVID did not cause this. I think it's always important to remember that kids have struggled for generations. This isn't a brand new thing that has never happened before. It's more a matter of degree. Kids are definitely having a hard time, and schools are certainly struggling to figure out how to support them.
They struggle in how to make sure kids still learn to read, write and do math, and yet also can grow into adults who are able to organically go to college, join the military — do the things that we want them to do upon graduation. We're seeing a lot of struggle with this in school, a lot of angst about it. But I think we're also seeing a lot of educators really leaning in and really wanting to support students.
I think maybe a point that I would just start with is that a lot of students don't get the downtime needed. They're either in school, in sports and clubs, they're engaged in activity, or they're on social media, or they're gaming with people online, which is interactive these days, and they don't have time to stop. Then they're staying up too late and have to get up ready for school, so you definitely get very much a hamster wheel feel from a lot of students that we're talking to. They're not quite sure how to get off of it and which parts of it they should try to step back from.
Rosemary Ford:
Who do you think is responsible for fixing this culture that seems to be affecting the mental health of our youth. is it parents? Is it schools? Is it colleges? What else can we do?
Dr. Nate Jones:
Whenever we're working with kids, it's always that there's never one thing going on for them. Consequently, it can’t be only one person, one group, one field that can provide the fix. It takes a village, it has and always will. The fix is every day — it's doing the good work, the parenting, the teaching, and whatever — but doing it well every day.
John T. Broderick:
Parents love their children but we are very concerned, I think, as a society, about our children's safety. We're building a lot of fences around childhood. Childhood used to have a lot of days that weren't filled with activities, but you had to create them. That just kind of faded away. I would like parents to let children evolve, support and encourage them, obviously, but don't micromanage every move. Don't go to every sporting event they participate in, every practice they ever attend.
These kids are not as emotionally secure. Half of all young people today, according to surveys, describe themselves as lonely. Half of them say they do not have a trusted adult in their life. Take those two stats and weigh them against the opportunity to have a successful and emotionally structured childhood. Those are the discussions we need to have as communities. A lot of what I'm saying is that we can fix it, if we choose to.
Gabby McNulty:
It takes a village. Everybody needs to be on the same page, everyone's expectations need to align.
When I'm sitting in school meetings, and you have every member of the team together, sometimes there's that disconnect, and there's not that buy-in. What people don't always understand is that when your child is participating in therapy, a lot of the time the parent needs to be in the room as well. You're the parent, the one that's reinforcing those positive behaviors, or not reinforcing the negative ones. So there needs to be that buy-in. If there's no trust, either on the parental end or even on the child's end, there's not really much that can be done. That trust is a really important piece. I do think it can be fixed.
Rosemary Ford:
What impact do you think that world events are having on kids in their mental health?
Dr. Nate Jones:
Our kids are struggling with things in ways that we didn't have to. I remember in sixth grade, watching the Challenger explosion at school, — that was one of the first times I’d really seen a national news event occurring live. Otherwise, it was just the guys on TV at 6 o'clock at night. It’s different now — now we have instant news, and that brings it to us in a whole new way. So I think that part of it to me is that our kids are facing an onslaught of news about the world that we never had to.
Gabby McNulty:
I am definitely seeing more of an indirect result. I'm seeing a very high increase in depression-related symptoms — a lot of people are unaware of that. With younger kiddos, especially a lot of times in boys, aggression is a sign of depression. I'm definitely seeing a lot more anxiety. This year alone, I've been seeing a high rate of suicidal statements. A lot of the times the kids, there’s no intent to it, but kids have such big feelings, and they aren't able to express them. Either they've heard somebody else say it, or it just kind of comes out. But when you're kind of evaluating them for safety they're like, “I didn’t mean it, I'm just really mad.” So it's trying to teach some other ways to be able to express those same feelings. So definitely we’re seeing a higher rate of set depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and suicidal statements, which is scary in any population, but especially when it’s starting as young as kindergarten or first grade, it makes it a little fearful of what’s to come.
Rosemary Ford:
What do you think are some of the ways that we can address these issues and work toward fixing them?
John T. Broderick:
I think a lot of it is in our control. Kids have a lot of triggers - obviously adverse childhood experiences, trauma, genetics. But the thing I've seen most often comes from a world that's running at 100 miles an hour, that's becoming more distant one from the other. Kids are less comfortable in the eyeball-to-eyeball zone, where social-emotional growth happens. I would say to parents, “Let's take our foot off the gas. Let’s put the technology away for a few designated hours a night. Let’s have some family time. Let's not make our children overscheduled by being in 15 sports with five travel games a week. I think that we need to exhale, see the child in front of us — not the child we hope is in front of us. Not every kid develops at the same rate and not every kid’s’ gonna make the National Honor Society, and that’s OK.
Rosemary Ford:
What strategies do you recommend to parents and caregivers? What tools do you think are available to fix some of the things that we're seeing?
Gabby McNulty:
One of the most important things is starting that conversation about mental health and emotions and feelings when kiddos are really young. Starting with those basic emotions — happy, sad, mad, etc. The other thing is reducing that stigma when it comes to emotions and expressing your feelings in general. I think in some cases we are labeling emotions like anger, depression or nervousness as a negative emotion. We're human beings, all emotions are valid. We need to kind of teach our kiddos to feel their feelings.
Rosemary Ford:
Dr. Nate Jones, school psychology consultant at Southeastern Regional Educational Service Center, John T. Broderick, former chief justice of the N.H. Supreme Court and senior director of external affairs for Dartmouth Health, and Gabrielle McNulty, school-based behavioral health counselor for Amoskeag Community Health — thank you so much for joining us today.
“The State We’re In” is a weekly digital public affairs show produced by NH PBS and The Marlin Fitzwater Center for Communications. It is shared with partners in the Granite State News Collaborative, of which both organizations are members.
These articles are being shared by partners in The Granite State News Collaborative as part of our Race and Equity Initiative. For more information visit collaborativenh.org.