Melanie Plenda, Rosemary Ford
GSNC/NHPBS, The State We’re In program
Milford citizens recently discussed a topic that has come up in several communities across New Hampshire and the country. It concerns policies for transgender students using school facilities like bathrooms and locker rooms. Host Melanie Plenda speaks with 603 Equality activist Linds Jakows and chair of the Milford school board Judi Zaino about a recent Milford School Board meeting that turned into a rally in support of transgender students and a discussion of the district's policies concerning those students.
This content has been edited for length and clarity. Watch the full interview on NH PBS's The State We’re In.
Melanie Plenda: Judi, can you take us through what happened in Milford, and how this discussion got started?
Judi Zaino: I would like to start with the fact that the actual procedure that we use for transgender and gender nonconforming people is a procedure that we've been using ever since Title VII required this, as well as the RSAs that passed in New Hampshire. Just recently, at the end of September, a parent made a complaint to the middle school and at that time, the principal responded that that was the procedure we had in place. It then went to the superintendent who said, ‘I need to write a procedure so that across the board, all schools are treating transgender and non-gender conforming students the same way,’ which is what she did. At the next meeting of the school board, parents got up and complained about the fact that students were using locker rooms and restrooms that were in line with their identified gender.
At the following meeting, the superintendent read the procedure that would be covered in the entire district. At that point, one of the board members questioned the procedure and questioned the legality of everything that went with it. At that point, we had a discussion about whether we wanted to change the policy as a board - the board makes policy, administration makes procedure - to something that wasn't in line with the law. That ended up being the bottom line discussion. Were we going to pass a policy that, in effect, said that the district was going to break the law and instruct our employees to break the law?
We brought on board, after some discussion about how it was to happen, a representative from Cornerstone in Concord, a Christian advocacy group, and their attorney, Ian Hewitt, to attend our meeting along with representatives from the ACLU. We brought them to a public meeting so that everybody could hear what they had to say at the end of both of their statements. The board did not choose to change the procedure or to discuss the procedure, and we don't need to change a policy or even have a policy because the law is really clear about what is allowed and not allowed in public schools.
Melanie Plenda: Linds, can you tell us more about 603 Equality and how you got involved in this situation?
Linds Jakows: I've been organizing on LGBTQ issues in New Hampshire since 2017 when I came on to manage the transgender non-discrimination campaign that successfully added gender identity to the state's non-discrimination law. We won those protections for transgender people in employment, housing, and public spaces in 2018, which was really exciting. There was a lot of momentum at the time. In the following years, New Hampshire passed more laws supporting our community, like the ability to get an X gender marker on a driver's license and to apply those non-discrimination protections to schools. Unfortunately for people in New Hampshire, some of the national funding shifted to other states like Florida and Texas, where transgender people are even more under attack, which is understandable but we need to keep pushing here in New Hampshire as well.
This past spring, there were several anti-LGBTQ bills that our community came together to defeat. Specifically in the New Hampshire House there was an attempt to repeal the ban on conversion therapy, which would have brought back conversion therapy to our state. They also sought to ban trans girls and women from participating in high school and college sports. There was another bill that would've required school staff to out students to potentially unsupportive parents. After that, it became really clear to me that people in our community were eager for a statewide group dedicated to advancing LGBTQ rights for the long term. What 603 Equality is doing is bringing people together in local hubs to discuss the issues that they're facing and brainstorming solutions. Once the state legislature starts meeting again in January, we'll be tracking bills and showing up at the State House to be visible and to testify.
Specifically in Milford, I first heard that the Milford School Board suggested banning transgender students from using the bathroom consistent with their gender identity from my friend George, who was the founder of Milford Pride locally. He told me that school board members Nathaniel Wheeler and Noah Boudreau were ranting against trans students, suggesting that they were a threat to other students - which we know is not true - and that they would discuss changes to the school procedure at the next school board meeting. I immediately wanted to spring into action. I contacted Granite State Progress, who I had been collaborating with already on LGBTQ school policy. We pulled together a group of parents, teachers, school board members, and community members, and asked them what kind of support they needed. We didn't want to assume that it would be a one size fits all, that what worked in other communities might work in Milford. They really all said that a big positive rally outside the school board meeting would best paint a picture of community support for trans students. We quickly got to calling all of our friends and neighbors to get them to show up, which was a huge success.
Melanie Plenda: What goals were you trying to accomplish through the rally?
Linds Jakows: I was honestly blown away by the rally. I thought we might get around 50 people attending, but I counted during the rallies peak. We had 125 people outside of the school board meeting. We were all really anxious about how the meeting would go, but the tone of the rally was celebratory, the mood felt like a celebration of trans students. State Rep Maria Perez brought a speaker and hooked up really upbeat dance pop music, and that got everybody dancing and waving their rainbow and trans flags. We successfully showed that we outnumber the small amount of voices that are fearmongering against transgender students. WMUR showed up to interview people outside, so that got our message out further. When we went inside, some of us had to sit in the library room to watch the meeting on a screen because we had packed the auditorium with supporters. Inside, 11 people gave public comment in support of trans students, including four students themselves who spoke personally and emotionally about their experiences. Only five people spoke out against an inclusive policy or procedure. Thanks to the many, many people that stayed at the school board watching and waiting until past 10:00 PM that night, no school board members motioned to make any changes, which was a big win for equality.
Melanie Plenda: Judi, how do you think residents are reacting to what happened?
Judi Zaino: I have received several emails from residents who feel that what happened was wrong. Some misunderstand what happened, and they thought that the board was being activist when in reality we were doing the exact opposite. I've received only a handful of those emails. On the other hand, I have received numerous emails from people who, whether they agreed or not, felt that the meeting went really well, and that they were impressed with that. I also received notes from former students who identify as non-cisgender people who were grateful. I feel that I have received more positive feedback about the meeting than negative feedback.
Melanie Plenda: What should people know about having this discussion in their own communities, and what lessons did you learn? What advice would you give them?
Linds Jakows: I would start by saying, you don't have to be alone in this as I know that it can be scary. Whether you're a student who feels like they're not getting the support that they need in school or a parent that wants to support their kids in the school district, it can feel really isolating and like the school board is making policy without fully understanding your life and what it means to you as a person. What I would encourage people to do is to keep talking to their supportive friends and community members. Reach out to groups like 603 Equality and Granite State Progress who have done this before and supported people in other areas of the state. Talk to people who have been through it, whether that's a school board member or someone who's testified at a local school board meeting. We have a lot to learn from each other and we don't have to do this in our own little bubble. I would encourage people to reach out and keep building that community and asking their friends and supporters to keep reaching out further because as we showed in Milford, we can build the numbers that get us results that protect all students, including transgender students at the end of the day.
Judi Zaino: Keeping the tone of the discussion as civilized as we can is incredibly important. One of the things that I found most concerning was some of the mistruths and half truths that were banded about. We need to be cautious and we need to follow up on sources and make sure that we aren't repeating things that are not necessarily true or based on a germ of truth. I really feel the takeaway is that if we are all committed to a republic and a democracy, then we can truly make them work. I think people have questioned that a lot over the last few years, but I think that we can make it work if both sides of the conversation stays civilized.
These articles are being shared by partners in The Granite State News Collaborative as part of our race and equity project. For more information visit collaborativenh.org.
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